Last week I discussed a series of articles that I read that dealt with the subject of blogging, and how much detail is too much. Today I want to look into the motivation behind attention-blogging, that phenomenon of sharing way too much with the world about your personal life.
Interestingly, after I wrote that piece last week I got several emails, text messages and direct messages on Twitter asking if "you are talking about me". My truthful answer to every one of those inquiries was "no". As I started to consider the need for attention via blogging (macro blogging like TypePad or micro blogging like Twitter), no one person came to mind. I really thought about the concept in general, so this is not aimed at anybody in particular.
I find it curious that people will share so much of their lives with the world. Now, I can already feel the eye rolls from many of you as I have shared a great detail about my life over the last several years via blogging. I’m not talking about sharing personal information, I’m talking about sharing information that is well beyond appropriate measure. I don’t want to hear about when you had diarrhea, or when your monthly cycle is starting and how horrible that is, or the intimate details of your horrible fight with your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse. Why do people share these things?
As I look back over my life I think about the kinds of folks that shared this information with everybody in earshot before Twitter allowed us to broadcast it, or before blogging allowed interactive commentary on going to the bathroom. When I consider these types of people I realize that the attention-bloggers these days probably fall into one of the following categories:
- Horribly insecure- I think this is the most likely scenario about 75% of the time. Attention blogging, deep down, is a way of getting noticed when the author is feeling like they don’t really matter to anybody. In high school and college this manifested itself in different ways publicly, but they were usually micro incidents because you had to get attention face to face. With the advent of blogging, now attention can be sought globally with the click of a mouse.
- Angry- angry at life, angry at the world. With an attitude like, "hey, I’ve been screwed over so many times I really don’t care, so I’m going to blast everything and everybody around me", this kind of attention-blogging is usually aimed at another person, and the author isn’t afraid to use names.
- Depressed- There is a fine line between this category and the first one, they are likely linked together. This one makes me sad. I’ve read many posts where I could almost feel the depression behind the words. When over sharing is used in this manner, it’s a bit of a cry for help. I’m most likely to engage this person in comments and emails, participating in their lives via our new digital world. I engage not to chastise the over sharing, but to explore life with them.
- Ego strokers- arguably this could fall into the first category as well, but the insecurity is pretty well pushed down below the surface, so I suppose this warrants its own category. How many comments will I get? How many page views will I generate with this post? Will I get linked to by another blogger? These are questions that fuel the content of this type of over sharing. I’ve actually talked to bloggers who have wondered out loud that if they share a certain level of inappropriate information, will their stats jump up? For this type, it’s all about the numbers…the psuedo-friends…that cause the over sharing
- Sociopaths- there are some bloggers that I have read (no longer) that simply don’t understand cultural norms. I’m happy to report that I don’t think I personally know anybody that fits this category. But they are out there. Sociopaths have been a part of our society for as long as we have kept record of history, but now they have a voice that can spread around the globe at the speed of light. When I accidentally stumble across this type of blog, I simply leave and never go back.
There are probably more than five categories that would encompass the over sharing blogger, but those are the first that come to mind mind. Before you think me a stone-thrower, let me tell you this…
I have been affected and ultimately motivated to write a post by all of these elements at some point or another.
Well, with the exception of the sociopathic one (although I’m sure a couple of my regular readers would argue that point with me). So you see, I’m not beyond the reach of these very real human emotions. I do take exception, however, with the people that are primarily motivated by them and use their blog or Twitter as an outlet.
So what are you to do when you come across an oversharer? First, have a bit of tolerance. Everybody slips up now and again, so if this is an exception as opposed to a rule, just be patient. Chances are, after a little outburst, the author is more embarrassed about writing that than you think. Second, if you actually know an oversharer personally, it’s probably a good idea to approach them out of love and let them know that the world is tired of hearing about their bathroom habits.
If I have been a reader/follower of somebody for a while and notice a pattern of oversharing, I do what they fear the very most: I simply turn them off. I don’t give notice, I don’t send a series of emails explaining my departure. I simply go away. That’s one less tick on the analytics counter, and believe me…they notice the drop in their stats and it is a stronger message than 100 strongly worded letters.
I have thoughts about the "cure" for blog over sharing, but I think I will let them stay in my head as opposed to writing them down here. The summary of these thoughts however center around a real relationship with Christ. When He is the center of our lives…the true center, not just the expressed center…then it’s likely the need for over sharing will go away. Anger disapates, ego stroking minimizes and our security is found in Him. Not overnight, but as the relationship strengthens we find our strength in Him. And that, my friends, is a good thing.
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