3 Rules For Social Media

One of the wonderful things about social media is that it’s still a bit of the Wild West.  Sites like Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, while all covered nicely with their Terms of Service Agreements, are really very self-governing in terms of what content is produced.  When I talk to thought leaders and everyday users of these spaces about rules and norms, the divide is evenly split, with half saying that there should be rules imposed, the other half saying that it’s free speech all the way.  I tend to fall into the latter camp, although I do have three rules of my own that I try to follow.  Why?  Because I really do believe in social norms, and even though we are interacting with people in a digital sense, we are still interacting…we’re sharing the space and I want to do my part to be a good person.

If that reason isn’t compelling enough and you think I want to just sit around and hold hands with all of my digital friends, singing Kumbaya and roasting S’mores over some UGC campfire, then consider this: what you say online today will likely be searchable (and therefore discoverable) forever.  You may not care about having an outburst on Twitter right now because it doesn’t affect you, but down the road you may be in another position altogether, perhaps looking for a job.

Both of these are reasons enough for me to watch what I publish, so I have adopted these three basic guidelines.

1. No Swearing. That’s right, I just don’t do it online.  I can’t say that I am quite this controlled in real life, and no doubt I have said some things that could make the most hardened sailor blush, but I refrain online.  A casual glance at my Tweetdeck at any given moment usually reveals an F-bomb or two..or ten.  Good enough for you, and have at it, I am not throwing stones.  I chose not to do this, however.
2. Keep Public and Private Life Separate. This one is tricky.  First of all, I recognize that the very nature of social networks is to get to know each other better, to interact…and who wants to do that with a robot?  I certainly don’t keep everything in my private life off the computer screen, but I would say that I keep a good 90% of it to myself, and I’ve been operating this way for many years now. Probably the most personal I get is occasionally putting up pictures of my kids on Facebook, but that is the only place that I will do that.  It’s a somewhat private place (barely), and I only had to have a couple of odd emails from strangers asking me to “put up more videos of your kids playing in the mud” to realize that what we do online can and will be seen by perverts, scumbags, creeps and stalkers.  I do my best to keep the stalker-fodder to a minimum.  Also, and this is a very important point, I think it’s annoying at best and inappropriate at worst when people share intimate (and often gross) information about themselves in public forums.  It feels like the social media equivalent of exhibitionism, and I don’t like it.
3. Stay Positive. I haven’t always been able to maintain this one, but I think I get it right about 95% of the time.  There are plenty of people that get a nice bit of attention from being constantly sarcastic and negative, but based upon my two reasons above for having these rules in the first place, I do not want to be one of those people.  I do have a couple of categories in the “stay positive” area.  First, it’s almost a non-negotiable that I stay positive with real people.  What I mean is that I refrain from saying anything negative about another person online, even if that person is saying rude or aggressive things about me (which happens more than I would like to think).  Typically I will just ignore them, as well as blocking or unfollowing them.  What isn’t a non-negotiable is how I interact with brands. I have been known to go on a rant after particularly bad customer service experiences, a social media temper tantrum of sorts.  While I try to be constructive with my criticism, sometimes this isn’t always possible…you know the companies I’m talking about.

Do you know how I came up with these three rules for social media? I simply considered what is expected of me in real life.  If I go to a networking event, cocktail party or conference where I am with anybody but my closest friends, this is how I would act.  Why then should it be different online? I don’t think it should.  Online communities may allow us to carry ourselves somewhat differently, and it sure is easy to hide behind a keyboard and monitor…but in the end they are real communities of real people, all trying to get to know one another a little better.  That, my friends, is why I try to behave.

Do you have any self-imposed rules or guidelines that you follow for your online communities?

Photo credit: DanBrady used under the Creative Commons License